Snow fell gently over Snackland.

Lights twinkled.

Carolers sang off-key versions of “Jingle Bells.”

Everything was calm.

Which meant disaster was coming.

Because Obesseus had woken up excited.

Too excited.

He burst from his house wearing a Santa hat two sizes too small and a candy-cane-striped scarf that looked like it had been chewed on by a raccoon.

“OBESSEUS READY FOR CHRISTMAS CHEER!!!”

Snackland trembled.

Snackland Plaza proudly displayed a 50-foot Christmas tree.

Obesseus proudly displayed a 60-foot appetite.

He stared at the tree.

The tree stared back.

It began to sweat—somehow.

Allen Apple stepped in quickly.

“Obesseus, please don’t eat the town Christmas tree.”

Obesseus gasped deeply.

“How you KNOW OBESSEUS THINKING THAT?”

“Because your mouth was open,” Allen replied.

Obesseus closed his mouth.

Barely.

Then the lights flickered. A decoration fell. And suddenly the entire tree tipped toward Obesseus.

He caught it.

He fell backward with it.

He rolled down the plaza in a tree-shaped avalanche.

Grant the Grapefruit arrived late—on a peppermint snowboard—just in time to be flattened.

In Snackland Community Hall, everyone gathered to wrap presents.

Obesseus picked up the tape dispenser.

It snapped in half.

He picked up the wrapping paper.

It ripped into 400 pieces.

He picked up a gift box.

It exploded.

“OBESSEUS NOT UNDERSTAND WRAPPING,” he complained, covered in tape, paper, ribbon, and somehow a tree ornament stuck to his forehead.

Caroline Communion Wafer tried to help.

“Just fold the edges gently.”

Obesseus gently folded the entire table in half.

Grant crawled out from under a pile of bows.

“I’m okay! …I think?”

Obesseus joined the Snackland Caroling Crew.

Grant tried to hide.

Caroline passed out sheet music.

Obesseus used his as a bib.

When they began singing “Silent Night,” Obesseus bellowed:

“JIIIIINGLE GRAVY!

JINGLE GRAVY!

OBESSEUS LOVE BISCUITS TONIGHT!”

A window shattered.

A reindeer statue melted.

Professor Math fainted.

Evelyn Eggplant whispered,

“This is why we can’t have nice carols.”

At the mall, Obesseus decided he should be Santa.

He sat in the giant Santa throne.

The throne collapsed instantly.

Kids lined up anyway.

The first child whispered, “I want a toy train.”

Obesseus nodded, reached behind the sleigh… and handed the kid an actual train wheel.

The next child asked for a puppy.

Obesseus returned holding a confused raccoon wearing a bow.

Chaos.

Screaming.

Holiday spirit.

Allen Apple removed him from the Santa role gently.

Well… as gently as someone can remove a 700-pound Slam-Fu warrior from a shattered chair.

Snackland’s Hot Cocoa Fountain stood proudly in the square—

A tradition of warm joy.

Obesseus accidentally cranked it to maximum.

Chocolate geyser.

Hailstorm of marshmallows.

Grant surfed the cocoa wave.

Professor Math screamed,

“THERMAL DYNAMICS DOES NOT WORK LIKE THIS!”

The Diet Regime panicked.

Captain Fitness yelled,

“THIS MUCH SUGAR IS ILLEGAL!”

Obesseus cannonballed into the cocoa flood yelling:

“MERRY CHOCOLATE-MAS!”

Half of Snackland was swept into a cocoa tsunami.

They all agreed it was worth it.

After the cocoa flood settled and the plaza dried…

Snackland looked around at the wreckage:

• Tree sideways
• Wrapping paper confetti
• Cocoa stains everywhere
• Gnomes hiding in stockings
• A raccoon now legally adopted by a child

And they all sighed.

Then smiled.

Because Obesseus, covered in lights like a lumpy Christmas ornament, held up a giant plate of biscuits.

“MERRY CHRISTMAS, SNACKLAND! OBESSEUS LOVE YOU ALL!”

Everyone cheered.

Even Captain Fitness smiled… reluctantly.

Grant sniffled.

“That’s… that’s beautiful, man.”

Allen Apple chuckled.

“It wouldn’t be Christmas without chaos.”

The snow fell again.

The lights twinkled.

Snackland was calm.

Peaceful.

Until Obesseus plugged in the giant biscuit-shaped light display and blew out the entire town’s power grid.

Caroline sighed.

“There it is.”