Obesseus vs. Probability & Linear Algebra 

Snackland Press did not approve this meeting.

Professor Math called it “necessary.”

Josh JollyRancher called it “inevitable.”

Obesseus called it “suspicious.”

Two chalkboards were set up.

On the left: Probability.  
On the right: Linear Algebra.

In the middle: Obesseus… eating.

“Today,” Professor Math began, “we combine both disciplines.”

Josh JollyRancher stepped forward.

“Grant the Grapefruit will help us.”

From outside the room:

“I’m on my way!”

Everyone checked the clock.

He was already late.

Josh wrote the problem:

“Grant has a 20% chance of arriving on time. Each time he arrives late, we represent it as a vector.”

Professor Math drew three tall column vectors.

Obesseus squinted.

“Why numbers stacked like candy canes again?”

“They’re vectors,” Professor Math said.

“Candy vectors,” Obesseus corrected.

Josh continued.

“If Grant is late three times, what is the probability pattern, and how does it transform over time?”

Professor Math rotated the vectors dramatically.

“Observe the transformation.”

Obesseus leaned in.

“Candy canes still doing gymnastics.”

“Yes,” Professor Math said. “They are transforming across dimensions.”

Josh added more to the board:

P(Late) = 0.8  
P(On Time) = 0.2

“Now we model Grant’s lateness as a system.”

Obesseus raised his hand.

“Obesseus model system.”

“No,” both professors said instantly.

Too late.

Obesseus stood up and grabbed the chalk.

He rewrote everything.

0.8 hunger + 0.2 patience = problem

Then he added:

3 late Grants = 3 meals missed

He paused.

This was serious.

Then he drew a massive bowl.

Solution: buffet

Josh JollyRancher blinked.

“That is not a probabilistic model.”

“Yes it is,” Obesseus said.

“Probability say what might happen.”

He tapped the board.

“This what WILL happen.”

Professor Math stepped in quickly.

“Let’s restore order.”

He circled the vectors.

“These represent Grant’s repeated lateness.”

Josh added:

“And the probability determines how often it occurs.”

Obesseus nodded slowly.

Then he reached up…

…and added sauce to the board.

“Now system seasoned.”

Professor Math froze.

Josh JollyRancher stared into the void.

At that exact moment, the door burst open.

Grant the Grapefruit stumbled in.

“Sorry I’m late,” he said. “I got distracted.”

Professor Math pointed wildly.

“SEE? THE MODEL WORKS!”

Josh nodded.

“Probability confirmed!”

Obesseus shook his head.

“No.”

He walked to the board.

Erased everything with one swipe.

Then wrote:

Grant late + Obesseus hungry = buffet time

He circled it three times.

Professor Math sat down.

Josh JollyRancher sat down.

Grant grabbed a chair.

Still late.

Obesseus picked up his fork.

“Math try very hard,” he said.

“But math forget one thing.”

He took a bite.

“Obesseus always solution.”

Lesson concluded.

Crossover unsuccessful.