Obesseus never feared much.

Not monsters.

Not vegetables.

Not even the No Fun Squad.

But there was one thing that sent chills down his gravy-coated spine.

Math class.

Specifically:

Professor Math’s Infernal Fraction Factory.

Obesseus lumbered into the classroom after being promised “free snacks.”

He should’ve known better.

The moment he sat down, the door slammed shut behind him.

Professor Math appeared from the shadows, holding a piece of chalk like a weapon.

“Welcome, Obesseus,” he said dramatically.

“Today’s lesson… is fractions.”

Obesseus screamed internally.

Professor Math scribbled on the board:

If Obesseus has 12 pancakes and eats 11, what fraction remains?

Obesseus shot his hand up.

“NONE! Because Obesseus eats ALL pancakes!”

The professor shook his head.

“No, Obesseus, one remains.”

Obesseus gasped.

“ONE PANCAKE REMAINS? WHERE?!”

He flipped the desk, searched his pockets, checked under his hat.

There was no pancake.

“See? Math is LYING!” Obesseus declared.

Professor Math pinched the bridge of his nose.

“That’s… not… what the question means.”

Professor Math tried again.

Reduce the fraction 6/8.

Obesseus stared.

Blink. Blink.

Then he proudly answered:

“Obesseus reduce by EATING numerator!”

Before the professor could stop him, Obesseus grabbed a plate of actual cookies being used as props and devoured six of them.

“LOOK! FRACTION SOLVED!”

Professor Math dropped the chalk.

“That… that isn’t how fractions work.”

Obesseus patted his belly.

“Worked for Obesseus.”

Professor Math pulled out his most dreaded diagram: the Pie Fractions Circle.

“Obesseus, if we divide a pie into—”

Obesseus didn’t let him finish.

He lunged over the desk, grabbed the pie, and inhaled it like a tornado.

Professor Math shrieked:

“THAT WAS PART OF THE CURRICULUM!”

Obesseus burped in triumph.

“Tasty math. Obesseus approve.”

Professor Math collapsed into his chair.

“I give up. You may leave.”

Obesseus blinked.

“Class over?”

“Yes.”

“Homework?”

“No.”

“Test?”

“…DEAR SNACKLAND, NO.”

Obesseus charged out of the room cheering.

Professor Math whispered to the chalkboard:

“He’ll be back tomorrow… I just know it.”

The chalkboard trembled in fear.