Josh JollyRancher stood at the front of the classroom, calm, focused, and hydrated.

On his desk sat a tall glass of lemon water.

Not soda.

Not juice.

Not even lemonade.

Just… lemon water.

Obesseus noticed immediately.

Obesseus did not trust it.

“WHY WATER SOUR?” Obesseus asked, squinting from his seat.

Josh smiled politely. “It helps me focus.”

“FOCUS BAD,” Obesseus said. “FOCUS MAKE MATH LONGER.”

Josh ignored this and turned to the board. He wrote:

Solve for X.

Obesseus leaned forward.

“WHO X?”

Josh turned. “X is a variable.”

Obesseus gasped. “X STEAL SNACKS?”

“No,” Josh said patiently. “X is just an unknown number.”

“UNKNOWN NUMBER VERY SUSPICIOUS,” Obesseus muttered.

Josh lifted his lemon water and took a calm sip.

Sip.

The room went silent.

Obesseus’ eyes widened.

“YOU DRINK LEMON… WITHOUT SUGAR?”

“Yes,” Josh said. “It’s refreshing.”

“NO,” Obesseus whispered. “IT CRIME.”

Josh continued teaching, drawing neat equations. Each time he solved one, he took another sip.

Sip.

Sip.

Obesseus began sweating.

“MATH GET STRONGER WHEN YOU DRINK SAD JUICE,” Obesseus accused.

Josh chuckled. “Obesseus, lemon water doesn’t power math.”

Obesseus stood up slowly.

“OBESEUS DISAGREE.”

He waddled to the front of the class and stared at the glass.

“WHERE COOKIES?”

“There are no cookies,” Josh said.

Obesseus sniffed the lemon water.

His face twisted.

“THIS WATER ATTACK TONGUE.”

Josh shrugged. “It’s an acquired taste.”

Obesseus made his move.

With shocking speed for someone shaped like a heroic beanbag, Obesseus grabbed the glass.

“NO MORE POWER POTION.”

Josh gasped. “Hey—!”

Obesseus drank the lemon water in one gulp.

The room froze.

Obesseus’ eyes bulged.

His cheeks puffed.

His entire body vibrated.

“SOOOOOURRRR,” Obesseus croaked.

He spun in place, slammed into the chalkboard, and accidentally solved the equation by knocking the chalk into the correct spot.

X = 4.

Josh stared.

Obesseus burped.

The chalkboard cracked slightly.

Josh adjusted his glasses. “Well… that’s correct.”

Obesseus collapsed into his chair, exhausted.

“OBESEUS NEVER DRINK SAD WATER AGAIN.”

Josh poured himself a fresh glass of lemon water.

“Good lesson today,” he said.

Obesseus glared.

“MATH CHEATED.”

Josh smiled and took another sip.

Sip.