The moment the clock hit midnight, Snackland went quiet.

Not peaceful quiet.

The kind of quiet where something bad is about to happen.

Obesseus stood on the buffet table holding a half-eaten drumstick like it was a microphone.

“OBESSEUS MAKE RESOLUTION,” he announced proudly.

Everyone braced.

Allen Apple dropped his clipboard.

Jeff Jelly pretended he had somewhere else to be.

The Captains stared like they’d smelled broccoli coming.

Obesseus cleared his throat.

“THIS YEAR,” he declared,

“OBESSEUS WILL—”

BOOM!

Fireworks exploded behind him. No one knew who lit them. It might have been Obesseus. It might have been the fireworks themselves panicking.

“—EAT FIRST,” Obesseus continued, unfazed.

“ASK QUESTIONS NEVER.”

The crowd murmured.

“And ALSO,” he added, pointing dramatically,

“OBESSEUS WILL FIX PROBLEMS… BY MAKING THEM BIGGER.”

King Billy Blueberry whispered, “That’s not how fixing works.”

Obesseus nodded seriously.

“Yes.”

Then he continued.

“OBESSEUS WILL:

• Eat forbidden snacks

• Break ancient food rules

• Anger captains

• Anger vegetables

• Anger gods maybe”

The vegetables gasped.

Far away, something ancient and green stirred.

“And MOST IMPORTANT,” Obesseus finished, climbing higher onto the table as gravy sloshed dangerously close to the edge,

“OBESSEUS WILL HAVE FUN.”

There was a pause.

Then Obesseus smiled.

“WHO READY FOR CHAOS?”

No one answered.

So Obesseus jumped.

The buffet collapsed.

The fireworks reignited.

Someone yelled, “WHY IS THE SALAD MOVING?”

And deep beneath Snackland, the God of Vegetables opened one eye and whispered:

“…It begins.”

Happy New Year!