The day began with a catastrophe.

Obesseus stepped on a scale.

The scale exploded.

Not dramatically — just a sad little pop and a whimper.

“OBESSEUS NEED GET STRONGER!” he declared, entirely missing the point.

So he marched to the Snackland Fitness Center:

THE NO FUN SQUAD HEADQUARTERS.

Captain Fitness nearly fainted at the sight of him.

“First, we stretch,” Captain Fitness said sternly.

Obesseus nodded, bent over…

…and ripped his shorts.

And the mat.

And possibly the floorboards.

“That counts as stretching,” Obesseus said confidently.

Captain Fitness took a deep breath through his nose like he was trying not to scream.

“Let’s start simple,” Captain Fitness said. “Walk on the treadmill.”

Obesseus stepped onto the treadmill.

The treadmill surrendered immediately.

Sparks flew.

Smoke puffed.

The machine flatlined like it gave up on life.

Obesseus proudly stepped off.

“OBESSEUS SET NEW RECORD!”

“…Yes,” Captain Fitness whispered. “A record in destruction.”

Captain Fitness showed him the dumbbells.

“These are ten pounds.”

Obesseus blinked.

“Why ‘dumb’? They look smart.”

Before Fitness could correct him, Obesseus grabbed a 100-pound weight in each hand…

…and used them like maracas.

The gym floor shook. The ceiling tiles vibrated.

Grant the Grapefruit fell through the ventilation duct.

“Sorry—I was five minutes late!” he shouted, landing in a pile of yoga mats.

Obesseus beamed.

“GRANT! COME LIFT MARACAS!”

Conflicted Tomato, who worked part-time at the smoothie bar, nervously handed Obesseus a protein shake.

“It’s… spinach flavored,” he whispered.

Obesseus froze.

His eye twitched.

“OBESSEUS… NO LIKEY… GREEN THINGS.”

He chucked the shake across the gym with enough force to shatter the wall and hit the No Fun Squad’s break room.

Captain Portion Control screamed from inside:

“WHO THREW A VEGETABLE AT ME?!”

Grant whispered to Tomato:

“Next time, give him chocolate.”

Captain Fitness sighed.

“Let’s try one more thing. Hit the punching bag gently.”

Obesseus nodded.

Then wound up.

Then unleashed a full FORCE Slam-Fu explosion punch.

BOOOOOOM.

The punching bag shot through the ceiling.

Through the roof.

Through the sky.

It became a new moon orbiting Snackland.

Grant saluted it.

“Rest in peace, Baggy.”

Captain Fitness fell to his knees.

“My gym… my BEAUTIFUL gym…”

Obesseus patted his shoulder.

“OBESSEUS FEEL STRONG NOW.”

Fitness stared at the rubble.

“I feel… the opposite.”

Obesseus proudly strutted out of the demolished gym, munching on a celebratory triple cheeseburger.

“I DO GOOD FITNESS TODAY.”

Grant trotted beside him, still covered in yoga mats.

“You sure did, buddy. You sure did.”

Meanwhile, back inside, the gym alarm blared:

“WARNING: DO NOT LET OBESSEUS BACK IN.”

But everyone knew…

He would return.

And the punching bag moon would still be orbiting the Snackland sky.