The sign on the door read:

BAKERY — FRESH DAILY

Obesseus smiled.

“Obesseus love fresh.”

He stepped inside.

Three seconds later, the bakery would never be the same.

The smell hit him first—warm bread, sugar, cinnamon, destiny.

His pupils turned into cupcakes.

Behind the counter, Baker Brenda waved politely.

“Samples are one per customer.”

Obesseus nodded respectfully.

“Understood.”

He took one sample.

Then stared at it.

“…Too small to survive alone.”

He placed it gently back.

Then took another to keep it company.

The display case rattled.

Croissants trembled.

A baguette fainted.

“Sir,” Baker Brenda said, slowly, “you can’t touch the glass.”

Obesseus leaned closer.

“…But bread inside waving at Obesseus.”

A tray of cookies came out of the oven.

Steam rose.

Time slowed.

Obesseus whispered, “Cookies in danger. Must rescue.”

He reached.

The tongs bent.

The tray tipped.

Cookies launched across the bakery like delicious frisbees.

One hit the wall.

One hit a child.

The child nodded in respect.

Sprinkles rained from the ceiling.

Captain Calorie Counter burst through the door, clipboard first.

“STOP RIGHT THERE!” he shouted. “Those pastries are HIGH RISK!”

Obesseus clutched a muffin.

“Muffin scared. Obesseus protect.”

Captain Calorie Counter pointed. “You’ve exceeded your sample allowance by fourteen.”

Obesseus counted on his fingers.

“…That sound right.”

Chaos escalated.

A cake display collapsed.

A rolling pin escaped and joined the street.

Someone yelled, “THE DONUTS ARE FREEING THEMSELVES!”

Obesseus slipped on powdered sugar and accidentally punched a rack of eclairs into the air.

They formed a rainbow.

Silence.

Baker Brenda slapped a red sign onto the counter.

OBESSEUS — PERMANENTLY BANNED

Obesseus read it carefully.

“…Forever is long time.”

Captain Calorie Counter sighed.

“This is why we have rules.”

Obesseus nodded sadly and walked toward the door.

Then paused.

“…Can Obesseus still smell bakery from sidewalk?”

Baker Brenda considered it.

“…Yes.”

Obesseus smiled.

“Acceptable.”

Outside, a new sign was quietly added:

NO SAMPLES.

NO CHAOS.

NO OBESSEUS.

The bakery reopened the next day.

With stronger shelves.