Thanksgiving morning in Snackland was supposed to be peaceful.

It was not.

Obesseus woke up with the biggest smile on his face.

“TURKEY DAY!” he screamed, bursting out of his chocolate-fountain bath and shaking cocoa everywhere.

He grabbed his chef hat, slapped on two oven mitts, and marched into the kitchen like a warrior preparing for battle.

Inside, Professor Math was already there… fractioning the turkey.

Literally fractioning it.

He had a giant chalkboard up explaining:

TURKEY ÷ PANIC = THURKEY?

Obesseus didn’t know what that meant but he yelled anyway.

“STOP FRACTIONING MY BIRD!! OBESSEUS NEED WHOLE TURKEY! WHOLE! BEAUTIFUL! JUICY!”

Professor Math adjusted his glasses.

“Technically we cannot calculate ‘juiciness’ without dividing the—”

Obesseus body-slammed him gently into a pile of marshmallows.

Suddenly, the kitchen doors burst open.

Grant the Grapefruit surfed in on a pumpkin pie tin, late as always.

“I made it!—”

The pie tin hit the counter, launched Grant into the mashed potatoes, and the potatoes erupted like a geyser.

Conflicted Tomato stared, horrified.

“Is this what vegetables die for…?”

Before anyone could respond, the windows shattered as Julian Jellybean descended from the ceiling on a rope made of licorice.

He landed on the turkey.

Obesseus screamed so loud Snackland shook.

“NOT ON THE BIRD YOU MONSTER!!”

Just when the chaos was reaching a simmer, alarms blared.

The No Fun Squad kicked the door in.

Captain Calorie Counter, Captain Fitness, and Captain Portion Control stormed the kitchen wearing tactical aprons.

“THIS THANKSGIVING IS ILLEGAL!”

Portion Control yelled, pointing at Obesseus’ bowl of stuffing.

“No one needs nine pounds of stuffing!”

Obesseus gasped.

“It’s ten, thank you very much.”

Captain Fitness tried to confiscate the gravy boat.

Grant attempted to protect it but slipped—again—and body-tackled Fitness into the cranberry sauce.

Professor Math sat up, covered in marshmallows.

“Well, statistically speaking, this is a disaster.”

Julian Jellybean cleared his throat.

“I would like to formally announce,” he said, wiping turkey grease off his face,

“that I have replaced the mashed potatoes with cauliflower. Enjoy.”

Obesseus froze.

Everyone froze.

Even the No Fun Squad froze.

Grant whispered:

“…He’s gone too far.”

Obesseus dropped into a martial stance.

Slam-Fu energy crackled like gravy lightning around him.

“YOU DARE… replace POTATO… with PAIN???”

What followed was not a food fight.

It was food warfare.

• Obesseus hurled biscuits like meteors.
• Grant rode a gravy tsunami through the living room.
• Professor Math used the chalkboard as a shield.
• Julian Jellybean dual-wielded carving knives like a Thanksgiving ninja.
• Captain Fitness bench-pressed the turkey.
• Captain Calorie Counter screamed every time someone touched butter.
• Conflicted Tomato fainted twice.

Even the pumpkin pie tried to escape.

Eventually Obesseus cornered Julian on top of the dining table.

Julian pointed a ladle dramatically.

“You can’t stop the chaos! Thanksgiving belongs to the Jellybeans now!”

Obesseus inhaled.

Deep.

Dangerously deep.

The table rattled.

Uh-oh.

THE OBESSEUS VACUUM ACTIVATED.

“NOOOOOO—!!!” Julian yelled as Obesseus vacuumed him off the table like a jellybean-flavored tornado.

Grant dove to safety, Fitness fled the room, the turkey wobbled, and everything not bolted down was consumed in the vortex…

…and then Obesseus burped.

After the dust settled, Obesseus proudly placed the turkey (now slightly dented) at the center of the table.

Everyone stared.

Grant nodded.

“Honestly? Could’ve been worse.”

Professor Math sighed.

“I lost count of how many laws of physics we violated.”

Conflicted Tomato whispered,

“I have seen things…”

Obesseus beamed.

“TIME TO EAT!!!”

And they did.

Mostly because they were afraid to say no.