The day started calmly.
Which should have been everyone’s first warning.
At the edge of Snackland, the Chocolate Sauce Volcano bubbled peacefully—thick, glossy rivers of chocolate flowing into neatly labeled vats. Obesseus sat nearby with a spoon the size of a canoe.
“Volcano happy today,” Obesseus said. “Chocolate behaving.”
That’s when Josh Jolly Rancher arrived.
Josh wore his serious face—the one he only used for hydration.
“Everyone relax,” Josh announced. “I’m just making lemon water.”
Conflicted Tomato stiffened.
“Why do you need lemon water… here?”
Josh pulled out a massive glass pitcher. Inside: ice, sliced lemons, and an attitude that said this is about to ruin something.
“Hydration is important,” Josh said calmly. “Also, lemons cleanse toxins.”
The Chocolate Sauce Volcano gurgled.
Obesseus squinted. “Chocolate not toxin.”
Josh stepped closer to the edge. “I’m just going to pour a little.”
“No,” several voices said at once.
Too late.
The lemon water splashed into the volcano.
There was a pause.
Then the chocolate screeched.
The volcano erupted—not with lava, but with angry, sour chocolate sauce, spraying everywhere. Fudge hardened mid-air. Milk chocolate curdled. White chocolate screamed and fled.
“WHY IS IT FIZZY?” Obesseus yelled, shielding his spoon.
Grant the Grapefruit surfed past on a wave of citrus-chocolate foam.
“I’M LATE AND ALSO CONFUSED.”
Jeff Jelly tried to assign emergency overtime. The clipboard melted.
Captain Portion Control fainted.
Captain Calorie Counter screamed numbers that no longer mattered.
Josh Jolly Rancher stared into the chaos.
“…Huh,” he said. “Must’ve been the lemon.”
Obesseus dipped his spoon cautiously into the fallout, tasted it, and frowned.
“Chocolate… broken,” he said softly.
Josh nodded. “Detoxed.”
Councilman Blackberry Smalls appeared briefly, saw the scene, and quietly turned around.
Hours later, the volcano finally settled. Snackland was sticky. The chocolate was suspiciously tangy. Everyone was exhausted.
Josh wiped his hands and smiled.
“Anyway,” he said, “since people keep asking, here’s the recipe.”
Josh Jolly Rancher’s Lemon Water Recipe
Ingredients:
- 1 large pitcher of cold water
- 1–2 lemons, sliced aggressively
- Ice (optional, but recommended for confidence)
- Strong belief that you’re doing the right thing
Instructions:
- Add water to pitcher.
- Add lemon slices.
- Stir calmly while others panic.
- Do not pour into chocolate-based geological formations.
- Sip and say, “Hydration is important.”
Josh smiled at the crowd.
“See? Perfectly harmless.”
Obesseus stared at the sour chocolate wasteland, sighed, and reached for a cheeseburger.
“Next time,” he said, “Obesseus make lemonade.”
Josh Jolly Rancher blinked.
“…Oh no.”
Snackland groaned.