Allen Apple was proud.

He had polished his clipboard, ironed his tie, and set up 47 booths for Snackland’s first-ever Professional Pathways Job Fair.

He even created a motto:

“Opportunity Awaits!”

Unfortunately… so did Obesseus.

The doors swung open with a thunderous BAM.

Obesseus entered the Snackland Auditorium like a wrecking ball with enthusiasm.

“OBESSEUS READY FOR NEW JOB! MAYBE TWO JOBS!”

Allen Apple blinked hard.

“Uh… welcome! Please don’t eat the booths.”

“No promises,” Obesseus said cheerfully.

Caroline Communion Wafer stood behind her booth, passing out pamphlets.

“Would you like to learn conflict resolution?” she asked softly.

Obesseus smiled.

Then crushed the pamphlet by accident.

“What do when customer angry?” she asked, testing him.

Obesseus slammed his fist in his palm.

“EASY! Obesseus give free biscuit and hug them! If still angry… Obesseus give more biscuits! SOLVE EVERY TIME!”

Caroline nodded slowly.

“That’s… actually better than most customer service departments.”

Then Obesseus tried to hug the booth.

It collapsed instantly.

Caroline placed him on the “Do Not Hire” list.

Evelyn Eggplant from HR stood tall with a stack of forms.

“We’re hiring reporters. Can you gather facts?”

Obesseus puffed his chest out.

“YES! Obesseus very good at fact gathering!”

“Great! Report something interesting happening right now.”

Obesseus looked around dramatically…

Then gasped.

“FACT: GRANT ARRIVES LATE AGAIN!”

Grant the Grapefruit surfed in on a rolling office chair, holding a latte.

“I WAS ONLY 3 MINUTES LATE THIS TIME!”

Evelyn sighed.

“That… actually is newsworthy.”

But when Obesseus tried to eat the office chair, she quietly walked away and crossed his name off the list.

Captain Calorie Counter stood behind a lonely table with a single pamphlet titled:

“WHY FUN IS DANGEROUS.”

Upon seeing Obesseus approach, he immediately panicked.

“No—NO—NO applications from you! Last time you visited, the gym turned into a crater!”

Obesseus proudly flexed.

“OBESSEUS MAKE BIG IMPACT!”

“That’s the problem!”

The booth spontaneously caught fire from pure stress.

Obesseus blew it out with a gravy-scented exhale, which somehow made everything worse.

Professor Math had charts.

He had graphs.

He had equations.

He had hope.

He should not have had hope.

“Obesseus, would you like to become a Teaching Assistant?”

“YES!” Obesseus said. “OBESSEUS GREAT AT TEACHING!”

Professor Math smiled.

“Wonderful. Solve this fraction—”

Obesseus ate the fraction.

Professor Math stared.

“I… I haven’t slept in three weeks. Please leave.”

Obesseus patted his shoulder.

“YOU DO GOOD JOB, MATH MAN.”

The professor quietly curled into the fetal position.

Allen Apple took a deep breath as Obesseus approached his desk.

“Obesseus,” he said gently, “what job do you feel called to do?”

Obesseus thought deeply.

So deeply that Grant whispered, “Is he okay? His brain is smoking.”

Finally, Obesseus stood up and shouted:

“OBESSEUS WANT JOB OF MAKING EVERYONE SMILE!”

Allen stared.

Grant stared.

The whole room stared.

Then they actually smiled.

Even the No Fun Squad frowned… upward.

“Obesseus,” Allen Apple said, stamping a giant approval sticker on his shirt,

“you’re hired as Snackland’s Official Morale Booster.”

Obesseus cheered so loudly half the booths fell over.

“OBESSEUS DO GREAT JOB!!!”

Obesseus’ first act as Morale Booster was to hand out free biscuits.

His second act was to eat the rest of the biscuits.

His third act was to eat the table they were on.

Allen sighed.

“…We’ll adjust the job description.”

But Obesseus beamed with pride.

Snackland had a new hero.

A chaotic one.

A hungry one.

A hire they could never, ever undo.