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Allen Apple was proud.

He had polished his clipboard, ironed his tie, and set up 47 booths for Snackland’s first-ever Professional Pathways Job Fair.

He even created a motto:

“Opportunity Awaits!”

Unfortunately… so did Obesseus.

The doors swung open with a thunderous BAM.

Obesseus entered the Snackland Auditorium like a wrecking ball with enthusiasm.

“OBESSEUS READY FOR NEW JOB! MAYBE TWO JOBS!”

Allen Apple blinked hard.

“Uh… welcome! Please don’t eat the booths.”

“No promises,” Obesseus said...

The day began with a catastrophe.

Obesseus stepped on a scale.

The scale exploded.

Not dramatically — just a sad little pop and a whimper.

“OBESSEUS NEED GET STRONGER!” he declared, entirely missing the point.

So he marched to the Snackland Fitness Center:

THE NO FUN SQUAD HEADQUARTERS.

Captain Fitness nearly fainted at the sight of him.

“First, we stretch,” Captain Fitness said sternly.

Obesseus nodded, bent over…

…and ripped his shorts.

And the mat.

And possibly the floorboards.

“That counts as...

Obesseus never feared much.

Not monsters.

Not vegetables.

Not even the No Fun Squad.

But there was one thing that sent chills down his gravy-coated spine.

Math class.

Specifically:

Professor Math’s Infernal Fraction Factory.

Obesseus lumbered into the classroom after being promised “free snacks.”

He should’ve known better.

The moment he sat down, the door slammed shut behind him.

Professor Math appeared from the shadows, holding a piece of chalk like a weapon.

“Welcome, Obesseus,” he said dramatically.

“...

Thanksgiving morning in Snackland was supposed to be peaceful.

It was not.

Obesseus woke up with the biggest smile on his face.

“TURKEY DAY!” he screamed, bursting out of his chocolate-fountain bath and shaking cocoa everywhere.

He grabbed his chef hat, slapped on two oven mitts, and marched into the kitchen like a warrior preparing for battle.

Inside, Professor Math was already there… fractioning the turkey.

Literally fractioning it.

He had a giant chalkboard up explaining:

TURKEY PANIC = THURKEY?

...

Obesseus wasn’t planning on causing trouble.

He simply walked into Snackland Supermart to “browse,” which in Obesseus language meant:

hunt for free samples like a starving legendary beast.

He spotted them instantly.

A shining island of toothpicks, tiny cups, and little trays of joy.

THE SAMPLE TABLE.

Today’s offerings were glorious:

  • Mini meatball bites
  • Micro-sized mac and cheese
  • Half-inch brownie squares
  • And a mysterious “chef’s surprise” that smelled like destiny

Obesseus’s stomach growled a war...

Obesseus wasn’t afraid of much.

Villains?

He slammed them.

Buffet lines?

He demolished them.

But the grocery store on a Saturday afternoon?

That was a battlefield.

Still, the hero of Snackland needed supplies for the week—mostly gravy, biscuits, chocolate milk, and “emergency biscuits.”

As Obesseus marched into the store, the automatic doors opened dramatically (and then jammed halfway because Obesseus tried to walk through too quickly).

Aisle 1: The Produce Zone (Danger Level: HIGH)

The moment he...

Obesseus had a new job! “Delivery hero!” he shouted, flexing his gravy-stained arms. “Snackland hungry! Obesseus save the day!”

He loaded up the cart with burgers, noodles, pies, and an entire lasagna the size of a mattress. The boss pointed at him. “Do NOT eat the orders.”

Obesseus saluted with a biscuit in his mouth. “Obesseus promise! No eat!”

He made it to House #1. Knock, knock.

The smell hit him like a hug. “Mmm… garlic bread love Obesseus…”

One sniff turned into one bite… then the bread...

Snackland never sleeps—especially when Obesseus is around. While everyone else is debating turkey or ham, he’s planning something way bigger than a buffet.

I can’t reveal all the details yet (mainly because Obesseus keeps eating the announcement), but let’s just say November 25th might mark the start of something wild in the Slam-Fu Universe.

Is it a new story?

A surprise collab?

A feast of epic proportions?

You’ll just have to check back and see. Until then, keep your gravy close and your mashed...

Obesseus Wins the Literary Titan Award! Big news from Snackland — Obesseus:

Big news from Snackland — Obesseus: The Mighty Muncher has officially won the Literary Titan Silver Book Award!

This award recognizes books that blend creativity, storytelling, and originality — and honestly, that’s all Obesseus ever wanted (well, that and a triple cheeseburger).

I’m incredibly thankful to the team at Literary Titan for recognizing the chaos and heart that went into this story. Most of all, thank you to every reader who’s joined the Slam-Fu adventure so far — this win belongs...